The Future of Urban Insanity

I have an issue that I need to discuss with you. 

Because of my own indiscretion, a dozen or so gays in Dallas now know who I am, and some of them now pull up this site occasionally. 

That means that I can never again be completely honest and forthright on this blog. 

Things I want to discuss or throw out there into the cyber universe for comments are no longer anonymous, and my reputation as a professional and as a gay man are now subject to scrutiny by acquaintances based upon the ramblings in my cyber diary.  

Many of us have "hookups," and judging from what I've seen here in Dallas over the last 2 years, I am not the biggest slut on the strip.  

But I am also no cherub. 

However, by memorializing a great story like my trip to Denver on here, people make judgments. 

I never cared about stuff like that when I was anonymous.  And I'm really not concerned about how people view me in Dallas from a social standpoint. 

But my reputation as an attorney isimportant to me, and often, people can't separate social actions from professional ones. 

Consequently, I have three options that I'm weighing in my mind right now:

1 - Stop writing online for good.  I never thought that this would be an option for me.  Writing is my passion, and sharing my stories on here has been so incredibly helpful to my development as a gay man.  Recently, however, I've found passion in fiction writing.  I have an idea for a short story and for a serial killer novel.  As soon as I finish my latest book, I can easily move onto those ideas and fulfill my passion through fiction.  I'm seriously thinking about this option. 

2 - Take down Urban Insanity and start a new blog that is truly anonymous.  I don't really like this idea, as I've put a lot of work into this site, and can't imagine starting over from scratch.  This probably won't happen, but I'm not going to rule it out just yet. 

3 - Keep Urban Insanity PG-rated, at least until the people who know me lose interest.  This might be the best option.  Hell, my social life lately hasn't been all that exciting anyway.  I'm going to consider this as well.

What do you guys think? 

This is my own fault for allowing people to find out about the site, and I have no problem taking it down, but is that too extreme? 

Comments

[S.]

You made your bed, now you have to lay in it.

That's what happens to all of us when we're online.

[julian]

I think you should stop blogging, even anonymously, for a while, in your own best interests. It sucks that your peers have discovered your secret identity and chosen to perhaps use that against you. Protect yourself first and foremost, and worry about your readership last. Your career is much more important, obviously. It's a shame stuff like this has to come to an end, but as we all discover at some point or another, nothing on line is truly anonymous, even in a big city like Dallas. I wish you the best of luck in your writing career!

[uptown diva]

A little off subject but what's your opinion of Oaklawn area sponsoring a Miss America contestant? Theres a lot of discussion around the area (DMN, Dallas voice) about Cassie Nova co-hosting the pageant in the Roseroom on Cedar Springs. The two ladies that won are lovely, smart and talented straight women with a gay (shocker) pageant director.

[Shayla Kersten]

I hope you don't stop blogging. While you don't post often, I enjoy reading your posts. But I understand why you might wish to remain anonymous.

Shayla is a penname. I live in a very rural community in the backwoods of Arkansas. As an erotic romance author, I don't want my neighbors to associate me with my penname. I don't need the backlash of that kind of publicity.

You have to do what is best for you--personally and professionally. I won't try to advise you other than to say I would miss you if you disappear entirely!

Hugs!
Shayla

[Amanda]

Running away and hiding will only accomplish the one thing so many people want from those in the gay community...They want you to be ashamed of who you are.

As for folks that would judge your ability as a professional based upon your personal life, do you really want those people as clients anyway?

And regarding rumors, gossip and just plain nastiness? Take the high road and don't defend yourself against fallacy. The folks that know you won't believe it and the folks that do, wel, just stick them in the category of People Who Want You To Be Miserable.

I once faced a similar situation and a dear media friend gave me a fantastic idea: Write your memoir based upon what your enemies would lead others to believe about you. Its bound to be far more 'interesting' than your life really is.

Hang in there.

[joshua]

I've been reading your blog from one of your very first posts. You had a link to it on your gay.com profile. I would hate for you to kill off UI but, I understand your concern.

The answer shouldn't come from the readers, the choice is yours. I am sure you already know the answer.

Good Luck !

Hey
I like your blog.
I like it better when you share the more sexual parts of you.
I understand what happens when it ceases to be anonymous because this is a concern of mine also.

Part of me thinks that maybe you wanted to be discovered. Living in Dallas, showing us pics of your house was sort of tempting fate.

If you decide to continue - don't censor yourself just be comfortable with who you are and be out there!

[Bill]

I feel your pain. I'm not sure what the best answer is. If your a lawyer, I'm sure u have to be concerned about coworkers knowing your sexual experiences. My blogging doesn't get that detailed. I take it from a "what if my mom read this?" stand point. But then again my blog has like 2 readers and yours much more. Your a great writer and I hate the idea of censoring yourself. But you dont what this blog to fuck with your work either.

[Stu]

Perhaps consider a 4th option:
- Keep Urban Insanity PG-rated, AND start a new anonymous blog...

[Jack E. Jett]

I think you should accept the Lord Jesus Christ as your Personal Savior(and Shopper).

Rebuke the inner homo, and take a Muff Diving 101 class (taught at The Leaning Annex).

Once you become a reformed Xtian gay man, the city of Dallas will give you the respect that they have shown to Janine Turner. We call it the Bearded Rod Syndrome.

Prior to doing this though, I would appreciate you sharing with all of us a photo of your cock.
One shot flacid. Another hard.

[Slade]

I agree that you wanted to be discovered. You gave out enough information on here and then also told your friends about the blog. So I don't see why you would be surprised. I just see this posting about the "future" of your blog is one of your attempts to get attention, which for those that know you certainly isn't surprising. You created quite the reputation for yourself in Dallas so I'm not sure why you are now trying to play victim in this situation. I echo the first posting, you made your bed, now you have to lay in it.

[Kevin Patience]

I don't know you. I don't even know how I came across your blog however many ages ago. What I do know is that you are the only person who's site I check and have saved as a favourite that I don't know personally and do check every couple of days for an update. If you do start an 'anonymous' blog, please send it to me via email provided. I live in the biggest city in Canada and luckily can remain pretty discreet and anonymous, but completely empathize with your trepedations...human to human. Keep writing, but don't compromise your safety, security or best judgement.

[fancy pants]

I have the same dilemma actually, and I live in Dallas as well. It's awkward to hide everything, but I don't like the thought that people in town who only vaguely know me could now be told by a friend which blog is mine . . . it gets under my skin.
I'm glad you posted about this and I'm interested to hear what you decide. I finally decided that I can live with it, but it means I sometimes post and then take the post down hours later. I did take down my gay.com, Connexions profile, manhunt, etc, they're all gone. For some reason that comforts me even though it doesn't address the real problem. Btw, it's probably clear as day from this very post that you aren't interested, but I do live in Dallas and if you'd ever like to get a drink, let me know. Handsome professionals with intellectual curiosity in the Dallas gay world are few and far between as I'm sure you know . . .

[Synrgy]

I would totally miss your blog... I don't have any words of wisdom... I would just miss it... I got nothin'

Love from Atlanta
Syn

P.S. If you do start anon... I wouldn't mind an email... I'm just sayin'

P.S.S I do have a blog buddy on Blogspot, that just went to an invitation only blog... He has to put you on a list to get in... I think he was having some of the same troubles... just a thought

[Synrgy]

I would totally miss your blog... I don't have any words of wisdom... I would just miss it... I got nothin'

Love from Atlanta
Syn

P.S. If you do start anon... I wouldn't mind an email... I'm just sayin'

P.S.S I do have a blog buddy on Blogspot, that just went to an invitation only blog... He has to put you on a list to get in... I think he was having some of the same troubles... just a thought

[Jim]

Hey there , I too like many have read your blog for a few years and have enjoyed them , I live in Canada in a small community and have never ( or will ever) had an oppertunity to live the life that your living , I am 43 and when I was 25 never thought I would see gay marriges (Cananda)and the progrestion of gay rights that has happened over the last 15 years , and I beleive its because of people like you. I am not one to walk in gay pride parades , but have always quietly tried to change the world in my own way with my friends and family . Will gay rights stop going foward if you stop bloging ? probably not but think of how many people in the world can read your blog privately at home and how many people have changed their view on how they look at gay people or gay rights ? Do I think you should stop ... No
because I think no matter what you write even if its just being an average gay man or woman and the daily struggles with coming out then sharing your experiances good or bad will always truly be education for all of us.

[Hint of Mint]

You can write for Hint of Mint! But we don't really do sex or anything pervy. But we'd love to do an advice column! Maybe yer the one we need!

Hint of Mint