The Future of Urban Insanity - Screw the Gossip

Apparently, D ("Dallas") Magazine and the Dallas Voice, a popular newspaper in the Oak Lawn community, picked up on my dilemma regarding whether or not to shut down the blog.  See my entry on this topic here.

The buzz generated by these two publications hasn't been outrageous or anything - I mean, let's face it, I'm not Britney or Paris, thank goodness. 

But I did get more hits on here in one day than ever before.  It concerned me a little that some of the individuals who commented on their stories vowed to uncover my identity.  

My first thought was that I needed to shut this website down entirely. 

But over the last few days, I took the time to read back through my entries, all the way from April 2007 to now.  Significantly, I also read through the emails and comments left by readers - yes, I saved all of them (unless a reader specifically asked me to delete an email). 

My conclusion is this:  Urban Insanity has been a necessary outlet for me.  Through writing, and through reading constructive emails and comments and sometimes even mean ones, I've developed as a person and as a gay man.  Through Urban Insanity, I was able to say goodbye to my amazing grandmother, who passed away nearly two years ago.  Through writing, I taught myself to understand the depression and religious struggles that I endured, and I've found support when I desperately needed it on my journey to "come out" to family and friends. 

Reading through the emails reminded me just how many of you are struggling with some of the same dilemmas that I faced, that I am still facing.  I am humbled and honored if these posts have helped you in even the smallest way, and please know that even if I don't respond to every email I receive, I always read them. 

By putting my life up here in cyberspace, and by being reckless and letting my identity be discovered through other online mishaps, I pretty much asked for my life to be an open book.  

You know what, though?  I don't think that my life is all that bad. 

If people are going to judge, let them judge.  They are probably not the kind of guys I want to associate with anyway.

Screw the gay ass gossip. 

I will not tone Urban Insanity down into some Disneyland site. 

Nor will I stop writing.    

Comments

[Steven.]

"I pretty much asked for my life to be an open book."

Unless the writer is anonymous :P

[FortWorthGuy]

I am one of the people that found you via D Magazine's blog. I like your blog and what you have gong...keep it up (no pun intended).

[jay]

good for you.

[Terry]

Congrats on your decision to continue your blog. I'm not a regular reader, but when I do drift in your direction, I find your writing refreshing and entertaining. It takes courage to stand up for what one believes in. Best of luck!

T

[j]

yay :)

[Straight Chick]

I found you through the D blog and LOVE it! I'm a journalist and write for a living. I think your blog is witty and insightful. Thanks.