Urban Insanity

Top 10 Sexiest Male Athletes

I've been on a professional athlete blogging binge for the last week, and I thought that before I close this series and focus on more pertinent topics, I'd reveal my own personal top 10 list of the Sexiest Male Athletes:

#10 - Brady Quinn - Plays football for the Cleveland Browns.  Formerly Quarterback for Notre Dame, and winner of the 2006 Maxwell Award for the best player in the nation.  Great smile.  Great body.  Cocky attitude.

#9  - Michael Owen - Soccer - Captain of the Newcastle United.  He is best known for his blistering pace, precise finishing and intriguing predatory instincts around goal.  Plus, he's hot as hell.

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#8 - JJ Reddick - The ACC's all-time leading scorer, and a Duke University superstar.  Now, JJ plays for the Orlando Magic.  His sharp mind and quick smile are his best features. 

# 7 John Cena - Wrestler - O.K., as a kid, I used to jack off to WWF wrestlers all the time.  I can't be the only one out there who did!  For good measure, at least one wrestler had to make this list.  John Cena's ripped body and bad boy attitude push him to this spot.

# 6 - Jason Kidd - Mavericks superstar, leader, and all around stud.  See my previous blog.

# 5 - Andy Roddick - One of the top-ranked tennis stars in the world.  A true American stud. 

# 4 - Tom Brady - N.E. Patriots Quarterback, Superbowl MPV, and professional model, this guy is incredible, not to mention sexy as hell.

# 3 - Brett Favre - My favorite quarterback, recently retired from the Green Bay Packers.  He's my token sexy redneck of this group, and has one of the most chiseled faces in pro sports. 

# 2 - Jeremy Bloom - Skiing & Football - Wide receiver for the Pittsburgh Steelers, Olympic skier, and fashion model, this guy is quite possibly the perfect example of masculine beauty.

#1 - David Beckham - Professional Soccer.  Come on, is there even a question?  If you are new to this blog, then you probably don't know my obsession with this guy.  True physical perfection, and from what a hear, a pretty cool guy. 

Return of the "Hot" Maverick

I want to welcome Jason Kidd back to the Dallas Mavericks!  Although the Mavs have had their ups and downs this year, Kidd has the experience, talent, and leadership abilities to push our team closer to a National Title in the next couple of years.  Plus, he's got a rugged, bad-boy hotness about him that is just down right sexy! 

Shad Smith Becomes First Openly Gay Mixed Martial Arts Fighter

I found this article online today, and thought I would pass it on.  It's encouraging when professional and amateur athletes courageously step out of the closet and set examples to some of the younger, closeted gays who look up to them.  Shad Smith, a convicted criminal, may not be a "model citizen," but he certainly has courage in and outside of the ring.  Courtesy of Dylan Vox, www.connexion.org: 

Mixed martial arts has become a national phenomenon, and with the creation of the Ultimate Fighting Championships, only continues to grow in popularity. Earlier this week, competitor Shad Smith became the first openly gay fighter in the sport when he revealed his sexuality in a New York Times interview.

According to the article, Smith entered his first fight in 2000 shortly after his release from prison where he was serving time for carjacking, one of his many stints.

He joined a more underground organization called Felony Fights, which has similar rules to the way UFC began in 1993.

Smith explained that he started fighting at an early age because of he was concerned about someone discovering his sexual orientation. "I was always scared that my mom and dad would find out and wouldn't like me, and my brothers wouldn't like me," he explained to the New York Times.

"I was petrified, because I didn't want anyone to find out. And I would try to be the toughest person around. That way, no one would suspect, no one would ever say it, no one would think it."

Now at 35, Smith has had several run-ins with the law, but is learning to settle down with his boyfriend Jesse.

Of his 20 fights, Smith has won 10 with 8 losses and 2 draws. Although he most likely will never make it to the Ultimate Fighting Championship, he explained to Nation writer Paul Wachter that he has learned a lot about himself from the sport.

BOB's Sex Tip #2

This is the second email is the series of sex tips from my sexually uninhibited friend, BOB.  Please feel free to email me or to post questions in the comments section.  No matter how basic, outrageous, or graphic your question may be, BOB will answer it. 

Here are three questions that I received:

Question #1 (from T.T.):  Hi, i'm a 17 year old who reads and loves your blogs.  I have a question that I wanted to know the answer to but have no one to ask about.  Since you are experienced, I hope you can answer my question.  It's kind of retarded for me to ask.  Well, for over two years I heard from ONE person for only once saying that if you have anal sex, the consequence would be that you'll have permanent or long-term anal leakage--then you would have to wear diapers.  Uhm, yeah... That's not true right?

 

Question #2 (from Shy Boy):

I have a question that is slightly embarrassing to ask anyone I know. My question is what usually happens to your ass after anal sex? Does it tighten up immediately or are you loose for awhile? Does it depend on the size of your partner's penis? I'm a virgin and I'd like to know what to expect.

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BOB's Responses:  T.T., your description of "long term anal leakage" makes me want to barf. 

Party now, leak later. 

Who cares?

Just kidding.  In my extensive experience, and through hundreds of hours of field research with over 100 subjects, I've never had an issue with anal leakage.

As for diapers, you don't have to worry about that unless you are into submissive baby play.  I don't know anyone who has ever had to wear diapers.  If you do a search on the Internet, you'll see crazy shit where people fist each other.  As far as I know, no one has had to wear diapers for that.

Shyboy, To me, it tightens up pretty quickly. If I'm sober, after I've bottomed, typically you have to take a shit (in the bathroom, not on your partner's chest, hopefully).  Something else I'd recommend is an enema before sex.  You can do one of these right before sex or before you go out.  It sounds gross, but it helps clean your system out. 

As for whether or not you will tighten up, I don't think that the size of the penis really makes that much of a difference.  Personally, I prefer anything over 8 inches (under that is inadequate), but unless someone is fisting you, I think you'll tighten up pretty quick.

 

Question #3 (from anonymous):  What is your deal with bears?  What is a wolf and an otter?

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BOB's Response:  I thought I made it clear in BOB's Sex Tip #1 -- I'm not into bears, and don't understand why they keep writing to me, or why someone would ever be attracted to one.  But for you novices out there, here's the hairy breakdown:

Bear:  A large, often fat, older, leather-bound puff of hair.

Cub:  A smaller puff of hair, typically less gut, less hair.  Cubs usually follow bears around.

Wolf:  Someone who hangs out with bears, even if they aren't a bear.  Runs in packs like ankle biters.

Otter:  Slim, slightly muscled, usually younger version of a bear.  Less hair.  The one I'd sleep with.

Chicken:  A twink.  The writer of Urban Insanity usually dates these skinny, nelly glow stick chewing boi toys, no matter what he tells you in this blog!

Pig:  Uninhibited sex manic.  Anything goes, including ANYTHING in your imagination.  Could be a bear, cub, wolf, otter, or anything in between.  If a Pig isn't too hairy, I'm always down for sex.

Send me more questions!   

Dolce & Gabbana's New Model

HOT!!

Gay Marriage - Great Points

I definitely believe that gay couples should enjoy the same benefits as straight ones.  While I have not yet made up my mind regarding whether we should be allowed to "marry" each other instead of simply becoming civilly unified domestic partners with the same rights and benefits (i.e. leave the religious aspect out of it), I do appreciate good arguments from both perspectives.

I found this humorous and educating post about gay marriage on a myspace page. 

Why gay marriage is wrong!!! 

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms.  Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children.  Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion.  In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country.  That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home.  That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior.  People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

Easter in the Park - Dallas, Texas

Dallas' 23rd annual Easter in the Park celebration is THIS Sunday, March 23 from 11 a.m. to 5 p.m.

Easter in the Park is one of the largest annual outdoor events in Dallas, attracting thousands of attendees to celebrate the holiday with food, fun, and live music.  The Turtle Creek Association and the Dallas Symphony Orchestra organize this every year, and patrons are invited to come out and picnic on the grounds of Lee Park.  A map to the park is below - HERE is a link that will allow you to print directions.

The majority of patrons to Easter in the Park are the gay community -- trust me, if you come out to this celebration, you'll see all kinds of crazy things, mainly Easter bonnets, jello shots in plastic eggs, and decked out dogs.

The day’s festivities include a Pooch Parade (starting at 1 p.m.) and a performance by the Dallas Symphony Orchestra (at 3 p.m.).

The party will finish at the strip (Cedar Springs), where crazy gays will be awarded prizes for the Best Bonnet.  If the weather holds out, I'll be out there with BOB, Heather, and the gang looking for great stories for the blog.  

If you are in Dallas this weekend, and the weather is nice, I encourage you to attend.  This is one of my favorite weekends of the year in Dallas.

Coming Out: The High School Best Friend

Val, my best friend from high school, didn't start out as my best friend.  Back in my sophomore year of H.S., she actually started out as my best friend's girlfriend.  Over time, my buddy, who was really just a rich, arrogant a-hole, treated her worse and worse, and eventually, she dumped his ass. 

I stopped hanging out with my old buddy sometime during our senior year, and by the time we left for separate colleges, we didn't speak at all. 

Val and I, however, kept in touch. 

In fact, many years have passed since my high school days, and Val is one of the only people I've remained in touch with from that period of my life.

We went to separate colleges over six hours away from each other.  With the newness and consumptiveness of college, it was difficult to keep in touch with each other, but each year during Christmas, Val and I would meet up back in our tiny hometown. 

Even after I moved to Texas to pursue my career, Val and I continued to see each other over the holidays. 

A few years ago, Val got married.  Her husband is a handsome, fun, and charming guy.  I was in their wedding. 

Then, just a year ago, Val had a baby.

Val had always joked with me about how I was a player who had commitment problems, and that I'd never settle down. 

I can understand why she felt that way - in all the years that Val had known me, I had never had a girlfriend for very long, and I was often vague when providing telephonic and yearly face-to-face updates about my relationships.  With such a physical distance between us, it was easy to keep up the charade, just like it's been easy to do so with my folks.

This last Christmas, however, I decided that it was time to tell Val the truth. 

In the past, we'd always met up for a couple drinks (and sometimes, dinner) at the local Applebee's, which is one of the few places that serves alcohol in my small town.

This last year was no exception. 

I picked Val up at her parents' house, played with her baby girl for a few minutes, and then drove my long-time friend over to our signature restaurant.

On the drive down that dark country road between the barren, snow covered fields and sporadic ranch homes and trailers, I had that knotty feeling in my stomach, the same feeling I always seem to get when I'm about to "out myself" to someone. 

I've come out to a dozen friends now, so I'm not terrified like I once was.  But still, coming out isn't a completely stress-free thing to do.

Throughout the entire drive, I controlled the conversation - we discussed Val's job, her husband, her new baby.  Then, when we sat down at Applebee's, I told her about my law practice, my parents, and my newly-bought house. 

Then, suddenly and completely out of the blue, Val asked me a question:

"Are you dating anyone?"

My heart began racing.  This was it.  This was my spoon fed introduction into that moment I'd been waiting for.

"No, I'm not," I replied simply.

Then she asked me something that caught me completely off guard, a question I would've never expected from her.

"Are you gay?" 

Whoa!  Did she really just ask me that?  I almost fell off of the bar stool.

I hesitated for only a second, despite the intense pounding in my chest and slight twitching of my hands.  "Yeah, actually, I am."

"Cool."

"Well, how long have you known?"

"Um, I've suspected for a couple years now, but wasn't for sure.  I knew it was either that you had commitment problems or that you were gay."

"No shit?  Why didn't you ask me before?"

"I don't know.  It's just not a big deal, I guess."

"Wow, that was . . . easy."

We spent the next hour talking through everything, all of my dodges and lies from the last few years, my ex-boyfriends, my attempts at dating girls, her predictions on how my folks will take it, etc.  Val was awesome about everything, and completely supportive. 

I've come out to several friends, and I have to say that this particular coming out experience was by far the easiest. 

Perhaps it was because Val took the initiative. 

Regardless, now there is one more important person in my life who knows the truth about me. 

This is a relief. 

BOB's Sex Tip #1

Quite often, readers send me questions. 

Many of these questions are sexual in nature.  While I'm not an angel, I do not feel nearly as qualified to answer questions about sex as my friend BOB is.  Thus, I am starting up a series of blogs entitled "BOB's Sex Tips," where readers can send any question, no matter how basic, outrageous, or graphic, and BOB will answer it. 

Here are two questions that have been in the inbox for a while now:

QUESTION from an 18 year old reader in Alabama:

I read your blog a lot.  I don't know who to ask this to, will you help me?  I'm young and don't have any sexual experience, but want to have sex with my boy friend and bottom for him.  We tried before and it was too painful.  How can I get over the pain?

BOB's answer:  Ass play is one of my favorite things. 

First, I'd loosen myself up with a couple drinks, not that I'm condoning alcohol to an underage twink bottom, but it helps.

Everyone has their own things, so for you, it might be something different than it is for me.  I like for my trick to lay on his back and I sit on top of him and slowly ease it in.  This allows you to take as much of his meat as you can handle in the time that you want to take it.  Having control can be a turn on, even for a big old bottom.

The key to being pain free is the use of good lube.  With so many products on the market, and with my extensive research, I have found that Boy Butter gets the job done better than any other lube. 

Good luck with your experimentation.  Remember that if it doesn't go well, half the fun is exploring new avenues. 

QUESTION 2 from a random bear in Michigan, that I received months ago (sorry!):

BOB sounds hot.  How can I meet him?

BOB's answer:  Well, Grizzly, BOB is a hot commodity here in the Lone Star State.  Being that I'm not a bear, it would never be an option to head as far north as Michigan.  Don't get me wrong, I do like "BARE" backing, but that is much different than hugging a pillow of hair.  So, unless you slim down and get some waxing done on your body, you should stick to the cubs. 

American Idol Obsession

I have to admit that I'm obsessed with this addictive show. 

It's sad that I've let the Fox Network lure me in year after year, but alas, I'm back again.  I can't help it. 

This year, from the girls, I absolutely love Brooke White - she is classy, cute, completely genuine, and is a great throwback singer to the days of Carly Simon.  She's so unique to this competition, and I'd love to see her stay around until the end. 

I'm having a harder time with the guys.  I like two them.

How can anyone not love David Archuleta, the incredibly cute 17-year-old kid who, last week, gave one of the most amazing vocal performances that Idol has ever had?  He's awesome, and is way beyond his years in singing abilities.  My roommate and friend, BOB, is completely enamored with Archuleta.

My favorite vocal performance so far, however, has come from Jason Castro, who, like Brooke, can play a mean guitar.  The judges don't like him all that much, perhaps because he insists on using his guitar on stage or because he's not all that cute.  But Jason's Jack Johnson-like vocals and excellent instrumental skills impress me, and his non-Hollywood attitude and demeanor are refreshing.  Consequently, I'm pulling for him to win the whole competition, although I know it's probably a long shot.

Some of the other competitors are worth noting, primarily the super flamboyant Danny Norriega and David Hernandez, the male stripper turned singer.  I have to give credit to www.votefortheworst.com for all of my photos of Hernandez. 

 

BOB is Back

By far, one of the most significant happenings of my new year was the reemergence of my friend "BOB."

BOB is one of my closest friends. 

He's stylish, sexy, and very fun, and at times a bit outrageous, a tad promiscuous, and totally out of control. 

He is the star of some of my favorite blogs, including "Betty Cocker Birthday," where he used my 30th birthday cake as a sex toy, "Kissing and Pissing," where he accidentally pissed all over a guy but still managed to get him into bed, and "Three Men and a BOB," where he somehow juggled three guys in the same night. 

About this time last year, BOB and I both got into relationships.  Mine lasted only three months, but BOB's lasted almost a year. 

Before his relationship, BOB had been crazy, a classic party animal that could barely be contained.  But once he "settled down," he fell off the face of the earth, at least in a social sense.  While I spent the last eight months dating and hitting up parties, gallery openings, festivals, and "the scene," BOB was rarely around. 

Like most couples, BOB and his BF liked to double date, so they did a lot of activities with straight, married folks.  When I was dating someone, I was often invited to join them as well.  I think that BOB's BF, knowing how crazy BOB used to be, didn't trust BOB to be alone in social settings, so it was a rare occasion that I saw BOB outside of double-date situations.

Despite the fact that I didn't get to see my friend as often, I was happy for him and for the couple.  BOB and his BF appeared to be a shining example of how a gay relationship could work. Recently, the couple decided to buy a house together.  Most of our friends thought it was way too soon, as they'd only known each other for nine months when they made the offer. 

BOB sold his house, and a month before the couple was to close on their new home, BOB got cold feet and told his BF that he didn't want to go through with the purchase. 

The BF told him that it was a step back in the relationship, and at that point, drama ensued, there was a huge blowup, and the relationship took an abrupt and resounding halt. 

A few days later, BOB moved into my extra room in the house. 

When I spoke with BOB about the relationship, I found out that it wasn't quite as perfect as the picture they'd painted.  I won't go into why, as BOB wouldn't appreciate that, but in the end, the break-up appears to be a very good thing.

In the last month since BOB has moved in, things have gotten crazy again.

We spent a wild weekend at his lake house an hour south of Dallas, BOB has reclaimed his title as the king of Mi Cocina (West Village), the gay restaurant hot spot in Dallas for Friday nights, and BOB has dragged me on numerous excursions around town looking for the ever-elusive "Megahottie," the extremely hot-model-looking-hunk (albeit arrogant as hell) that I've also stalked at times over the last year. 

BOB has not fully emerged as a sexual force in the gay community yet, as I think he's still getting over the breakup, but at the rate he's going, I don't think it will take long for him to return to his old ways.

*I get a lot of questions from readers, some of which are sexual in nature.  BOB, who is much more of an expert in the sex department, has agreed to help me out with some of these questions.  Hence, I will be introducing BOB's Sex Tips in the next couple of weeks!  Watch out!