BOB's Sex Tip #2

This is the second email is the series of sex tips from my sexually uninhibited friend, BOB.  Please feel free to email me or to post questions in the comments section.  No matter how basic, outrageous, or graphic your question may be, BOB will answer it. 

Here are three questions that I received:

Question #1 (from T.T.):  Hi, i'm a 17 year old who reads and loves your blogs.  I have a question that I wanted to know the answer to but have no one to ask about.  Since you are experienced, I hope you can answer my question.  It's kind of retarded for me to ask.  Well, for over two years I heard from ONE person for only once saying that if you have anal sex, the consequence would be that you'll have permanent or long-term anal leakage--then you would have to wear diapers.  Uhm, yeah... That's not true right?

 

Question #2 (from Shy Boy):

I have a question that is slightly embarrassing to ask anyone I know. My question is what usually happens to your ass after anal sex? Does it tighten up immediately or are you loose for awhile? Does it depend on the size of your partner's penis? I'm a virgin and I'd like to know what to expect.

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BOB's Responses:  T.T., your description of "long term anal leakage" makes me want to barf. 

Party now, leak later. 

Who cares?

Just kidding.  In my extensive experience, and through hundreds of hours of field research with over 100 subjects, I've never had an issue with anal leakage.

As for diapers, you don't have to worry about that unless you are into submissive baby play.  I don't know anyone who has ever had to wear diapers.  If you do a search on the Internet, you'll see crazy shit where people fist each other.  As far as I know, no one has had to wear diapers for that.

Shyboy, To me, it tightens up pretty quickly. If I'm sober, after I've bottomed, typically you have to take a shit (in the bathroom, not on your partner's chest, hopefully).  Something else I'd recommend is an enema before sex.  You can do one of these right before sex or before you go out.  It sounds gross, but it helps clean your system out. 

As for whether or not you will tighten up, I don't think that the size of the penis really makes that much of a difference.  Personally, I prefer anything over 8 inches (under that is inadequate), but unless someone is fisting you, I think you'll tighten up pretty quick.

 

Question #3 (from anonymous):  What is your deal with bears?  What is a wolf and an otter?

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BOB's Response:  I thought I made it clear in BOB's Sex Tip #1 -- I'm not into bears, and don't understand why they keep writing to me, or why someone would ever be attracted to one.  But for you novices out there, here's the hairy breakdown:

Bear:  A large, often fat, older, leather-bound puff of hair.

Cub:  A smaller puff of hair, typically less gut, less hair.  Cubs usually follow bears around.

Wolf:  Someone who hangs out with bears, even if they aren't a bear.  Runs in packs like ankle biters.

Otter:  Slim, slightly muscled, usually younger version of a bear.  Less hair.  The one I'd sleep with.

Chicken:  A twink.  The writer of Urban Insanity usually dates these skinny, nelly glow stick chewing boi toys, no matter what he tells you in this blog!

Pig:  Uninhibited sex manic.  Anything goes, including ANYTHING in your imagination.  Could be a bear, cub, wolf, otter, or anything in between.  If a Pig isn't too hairy, I'm always down for sex.

Send me more questions!   

Comments

[Justin]

This is so much better than Savage Love.

[abnitude]

bob's great!!! i would like to hang out and have some drinks with bob and then watch him in action. i really liked the way he threw a freindly dig during his chicken comment. it sounded like something a few of my friends would have said.

[arwl]

Bob please be my friends... or at least start your own blog

[jay]

loving this blog, can't believe it took me so long to stumble across it! i never heard of an otter before. i guess u learn new things every day.

jay

[JT]

I've always enjoyed your blog, but your friend BOB sounds lonely and pathetic. He sounds like a true bag of anal leakge.

Peace

[shy boy]

thanks for the info. i didnt think you'd need diapers but years ago i saw this guy on taxicab confessions say that he knew a bunch of people into fisting and that they all had to wear depends. im not into fisting so i guess that doesnt relate to me but i was scared something similar could happen if the guy had a huge dick. so here's another gross question. to me anyway.

whats up with rimming? doesn't it tast, um, weird back there? and the smell. i would think it smells. i can understand wanting to get a rim job, but not giving one. though if i did let a guy rim me he would be promptly instructed to brush his teeth and tongue vigorously before his mouth went anywhere else. thanks again sex yoda.

[mooniads]

very nice