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February 2008

Recap & Resolutions

RECAP:

2007 was an eventful, life changing year for me.  I think it's just as important to look back at these life changes and accomplishments as it is to make resolutions - that way, we know if we're just treading water in life, or if we're moving forward. 

Here are some of the more significant accomplishments/changes in my life:

Bfast1_l_21. I came out to my best friend from law school and my best friend from undergrad (and his wife) and to all of my other friends, with only a handful of exceptions.

2. I started working at a new law firm, and came out at work.

3. I moved to Dallas.  My best friend from undergrad and his wife also moved here. 

4. I finished writing the fiction novel that I started in 2005.

5. I bought a house.

6. My grandmother (my closest grandparent) passed away in May.

7. I had two wonderful, albeit short, gay relationships.

8. I met some amazing new friends - Heather, BOB, Brian, John, and Sylvia.

9. I created Urban Insanity, the first Dallas gay blog that features short stories. 

10. I joined a gay softball leauge (season starts in March 2008).

RESOLUTIONS for 2008

1. Get my finances under control - with law school debt, a new house, and an active social life, it's tough to get my debt paid off.  I've got to do a better job of living on a reasonable budget.

2. Limit my drinking to 2 days a week, and consume only moderate amounts of alcohol - I party way too much.

3. Finish book number two. 

4. Get involved with at least one professional and one charitable association.

5. COME OUT TO MY FAMILY.

My First Sex Idol

I can't seem to focus on work today (and haven't been able to all week) for some reason. 

For the first time in months (years?), I found myself searching Google Images for the first actor I ever jacked off to. 

Lorenzolamas1 That guy was Lorenzo Lamas, the B-action-movie actor who always seemed to end up in strange sexual encounters with willing strippers right after punching a fat biker dude's face in. 

When I was 12 or 13, I'd wait until my parents went to bed, and then I'd turn on USA "Up All Night," which was hosted by the crazy, big-boobed Rhonda Shear.  Inevitably, one of Lorenzo's films would be featured. 

Lorenzolamas His rugged manliness, sexy smile, and "bad boy" persona had me hooked for years.  In fact, I still own the "Snake Eater" series, which exhibits some of the worst acting I've ever seen . . . but lots of shirtless (and near naked) scenes with Lorenzo. Lorenzo_shirtless_jeans

Lorenzo_lamas 18667360

New Years Eve Blow Off

I have several stories to share with you, and I've been horrible about blogging this/last month.  I'll try to do better over the next couple weeks so that I can update you on all of the craziness of late. 

First of all, my New Year started off pretty badly.  Danilo_ikodinovic_3

Unlike Christmas or Halloween, New Years Eve, in my opinion, is always a let-down.  Most people, myself included, usually hype it up way too much, and in the end, the celebration ultimately fails to meet expectations.  In the past, I've gotten into arguments with boyfriends, gotten pawed and grabbed at by drunk gays in New Orleans, or (in my straight days) have been one of the single people hanging with a big group of couples. 

My New Year's Eve celebration for 2007-08 was by far the worst. 

To begin, we have to go back to my birthday, which was in December. 

For my birthday, a big group of my closest friends went to Mi Cocina in West Village, a total gay scene on Friday nights.  My friend John had a buddy in from out of town, who I'll call "Med Student."

I was of course cordial to Med Student and tried to make him feel welcome in our group, but I wasn't allMegahottie that interested.  I was too busy catching up with my good friends and scoping out some of the hotter guys at Mi Cocina, which included the infamous Megahottie, that elusive, gorgeous guy to whom I still haven't spoken.   

Eventually, however, I had one too many Mambo Taxis (lethal margaritas mixed with sangria), and Med Student drew my attention.  He was shy, and I enjoyed his easy smile and laid back attitude.  His clothes were loose, so it was hard to tell if he was just skinny, or if he has some lean muscle packed on his frame in the right spots.  Regardless, as the night dragged on, Med Student and I began flirting. 

At one point, I jokingly called him a twink, as I'd never flirted with someone so much younger (24-years-old) and smaller than me before. 

The nickname stuck.Teamchris 

Every single one of my friends was shocked that I was interested in Med Student at all - he wasn't anything like the guys I typically date.  I wasn't sure where the attraction stemmed from, and to this day, I still don't know.   

Regardless, Med Student and I ended up going back to my place together that night.  We messed around a little bit, and I was pleased to see that, despite his small frame, Med Student had some muscle packed in the right places.   

Over the next three weeks, we talked on the phone pretty much every night.  He didn't live in Dallas, but was in med school in a smaller town several hours away.  He'd recently broken up with a boyfriend, and apparently the boyfriend still slept over and "cuddled" occasionally. 

All of that didn't bother me, as I figured this dating scenario would go no where.  However, I did want to see Med Student again, so I invited him to be my date for New Years Eve.

He agreed, and we started making plans. 

I organized a big group of couples (some, in committed relationships, some, just on dates like me) to go to dinner and then dancing. 

Med Student had planned to arrive on the afternoon before New Years Eve and was going to spend two nights in Dallas.

The morning that he was supposed to arrive, I was excited to see him, so I called and left a voice mail.

When 4:00 p.m. rolled around with no response, I sent him a text message.

Still no response.  We had dinner plans that night at 7:00 p.m.

At 6:00 p.m., I received a text message from him stating that something came up at school, and he was so sorry, but couldn't make it to Dallas that night or on New Year's Eve.

I figured that he was joking, so I gave him another call. 

No answer.  Even worse, I didn't hear from him for the rest of the weekend. 

So that was it. 

There was no question about it.

He totally blew me off.  Bsa

I've had people back of things before, but never in my life have I been blown off, or dissed, in such a fashion.   If you've never had it happen, it is a completely and utterly terrible feeling.

Luckily, I found another date for New Years, but it was kinda tough getting through the night, as I realized that I'd actually had a little crush on the twink-like Med Student. 

Over the last few weeks, Med Student has sent me several text messages.

I suppose he was attempting to apologize or explain his behavior (which my friend John attributes to Med Student's ex-boyfriend). 

I haven't returned any of the messages.

I'm no longer upset or even disappointed about how things turned out with Med Student, as my attraction to him faded when I witnessed the personality flaws that fueled his actions on New Years (lack of courage, lack of consideration of others, etc). 

My only regret is that I once again gave New Years Eve too much hype.