Urban Insanity

Billie Holiday

I've had a very eventful last few days. 

For one, I attended my first PRIDE event . . . something I thought I'd never do.  It was absolutely crazy, and I have at least one long blog that I need to write about it.   

Secondly, as some of you know, I'm a baby attorney (a brand new one).  Earlier today, I went to my first hearing, which was in a small, surprisingly charming town in Southern Mississippi. Nothing wild happened, but it was certainly an experience that I'll never forget.

Third, I attended a GLBT Chamber of Commerce dinner tonight.  I went because, over the last few weeks, I've felt a new need to give back to the gay community, to impact it in some positive way.  I'm not yet sure what this new passion I've developed will manifest itself into . . . but it's something that I'm definitely committed to.

I plan to write about all of these topics, but I'm tired from traveling and want to crash soon.

So instead of writing a long blog tonight, I want to share something with you that is very special to me . . . the music of the great Billie Holiday.  After the GLBT dinner, which was at the historic Melrose Hotel in Dallas, my friends and I had drinks in the comfortable hotel bar. 

I orderd a Bacardi and Diet Coke and asked the jazz piano player if she knew any Billie Holiday songs. 

She grinned and said that Billie was her absolute favorite. 

So . . . after a very generous tip from me, the pianist played several moving songs, reminding me just how special Billie Holiday was.  Sadly, Billie's life was filled with tragedy, drug abuse, and tumultuous relationships.  However, it was also full of love, admiration, and endless musical talent. 

Her haunting voice is an amazing reflection of the highs and lows that she went through, and they are somewhat reflective of what we, as gay men, experience in our own lives. 

Enjoy this song. 

This Gift

I'm posting a great song tonight even though (1) it's not Christmas, and (2) the song's lyrics don't exactly match with the reason I'm posting it. 

But, I'm a huge fan of Christmas (which is only 3 months away), I'm a big fan of 98 Degrees (which is a constant source of amusement for my buddies), and tonight, I had my 3rd date with a really fantastic guy (who hopefully doesn't know about the blog). 

Too often, my blog seems to focus on the challenges and struggles of being gay, but there are so many other positives to this alternative lifestyle that I should be focusing on. 

One of best things we gays have is that feeling when you just start dating a guy . . . the goosebumps and churning stomachs that our straight brothers got to first experience years ago.  Even though we may be in our 20's, 30's, 40's and up before we truly experience the joys of blossoming romance, it's still a beautiful thing. 

So . . . I guess I'm posting this song because I wanted to share my good mood with you.  Even if it doesn't work out with the guy I was with tonight, dating in the gay world is a beautiful thing.

Enjoy the song, and feel free to rag on me for liking 98 Degrees!

100 Years

Great songs truly captivate me sometimes. 

Ever since I received my first cassette tape back in the 80's, I've used music to calm myself down, to transition into a romantic or a sappy mood, and to motivate myself to tackle whatever task is looming in front of me, be it a sport, a challenge, or something for work. 

Today, as I spent Labor Day reading over 1000 pages of horribly-technical deposition testimony, I needed an uplifting song to keep my sanity in check.

So . . . I pulled an old tune out of the dusty library of cyberspace and listened to it about 30 times. 

It's Five For Fighting's "100 Years," which is an absolutely awesome song.

Unfortunately, the song didn't motivate me to work.

Instead, it caused my mind to drift away . . .

I thought about my grandmother, who died in May of this year.  (See blog entry).  "100 Years" has always reminded me of her, and how rich her life was . . . from start to finish, and I guess I haven't fully finished mourning her death yet.   

I let the soothing sounds of this hypnotic song take my thoughts away from the seven-inch-thick deposition binder gathering dust on my dining room table, and I wondered what she was doing . . . if she was watching me from somewhere.

If my grandmother was watching, she was probably wishing she could've made a divine appearance in my dining room to scold me for taking such a long break -- she certainly was a hard worker.

Anyway, I didn't have a big revelation in mind by introducing this song to you, but it's a very special one to me because it reminds me of my closest grandparent.

Hopefully, you'll love it as much as I do.